With its flavour-packed cooking and erotica in the basement, there’s nothing shy about Bristol’s Wallfish Bistro
112 Princess Victoria Street, Bristol (01179 735 435). Open Wednesday-Sunday. Meal for two, including wine and service: £80
You wish Wallfish Bistro was a short stroll from your house. You don’t right at this moment. Right now your eyes keep flicking to the photos to work out whether that’s something you’d like to eat. But 1,100 words from now possibly half that, if I do my job properly you will. It’s the sort of quietly overachieving, understated neighbourhood bistro that anybody with a grown-up’s appetite, good taste and the cash to fund an occasional restaurant habit would want a stagger away from their front door.